Many of the people who are calling me for the first time have been in talk therapy for many years, but their PTSD symptoms continue to get worse – hypervigilance, avoidance, lack of safety in the body, difficulties regulating emotions especially when triggered, and being triggered into fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and shut down.

The root of some people’s adult problems may lie in something they have forgotten in childhood. Our brain spares us what we can’t handle knowing. I have noticed that memory is about attachment.

“Genital Response” is when thinking about your sexual trauma triggers sexual arousal and even possibly an orgasm. In women this means that they get wet and lubricated and in men they get an erection. Sometimes people are maybe hesitant to work on their sexual trauma because they are afraid that they may experience these symptoms during a therapy session. It is important to name this phenomenon, in order to reduce the shame around a natural and normal physiological response.

I work mainly with trauma survivors. I have had the incredible opportunity to counsel mainly victims of trauma but also some abusers as well. I try to meet each patient with love and compassion. Most of the trauma victims I have worked with had both abusive relationships in childhood and now again adulthood, so I wanted to share with you my notes and observations in hopes that it may help you become aware of the more subtle psychological signs of abuse in adult relationships.

48 million Americans in the United States were molested as children. It is believed that up to 25% of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse or 12 million Americans forget the abuse for part of their lives.

“Incest is not a taboo; talking about incest is a taboo.'' By Ellen Bass and Laura Davis in ''The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse''

Shame is about secrecy and hiding. It is part of what keeps survivors trapped in their own feelings and embarrassed to reach out for help, support, and healing throughout their lifetime. I see shame like a wall that is created between yourself and the rest of the world. It shows up with self-blaming thoughts like “I am disgusting”, “Something is wrong with me”, or “I must have done something to cause this” and gets entrenched in the body. Shame is an all-body experience.