How to Tell if You Need Therapy?
I’m a licensed clinical social worker working from home in Brooklyn during the pandemic. A lot of people are quietly struggling with their mental health during 2020 and especially this holiday season. Some journalist have referred to the mental health part of the pandemic as the “fourth wave”.
I personally have seen an increase in anxiety and depression among the patients who I see. We are in a difficult moment in the pandemic – it’s the holidays, we can’t see our loved ones, and while there is a vaccine, we don’t know when it will come.
Here are some signs that you may benefit from therapy:
“I feel stuck and unable to move forward with my problems in spite of talking to my loved ones.”
You have been talking to family, friends, and your spouse or partner, but you are not making any headway in making the changes that you would like to make in your life. In addition, you worry that you are putting too much pressure on your primary support system, so that having an outside professional to talk to would free you up to talk about other topics with your loved ones. Therapy is a place to identify your emotions, understand where they may be coming from, and to make progress on your goals.
“I struggle with talking about my problems with anyone.”
I recently read an article that men during the pandemic have been suffering more because a lot of their social interactions are “shoulder-to-shoulder” interactions with their friends. This is where we hang out with friends or family and do an activity like watch a game, movie, or event, but not emotionally engaged or open about what is really going on inside.
We are wired to be social creatures and talking to people about our problems, can help us feel less alone, improve our mood, and have more clear ideas about how we feel and what we can do about. If you don’t feel close to anyone during this time, a therapist can be a great way to jump start that process of reconnecting to people in an authentic, real way and a big part of that is to be vulnerable and open up about our problems.
“I have goals that I want to accomplish in 2021 but I don’t want to delve into my feelings, past, or childhood.”
Then, I would say that coaching geared to the problem you are focusing on like career or fitness or weight loss could be helpful or a very structured approach to therapy like Cognitive Behavior Therapy might be the best options for you. Also, there are a ton of self help books to give you the structure and motivation to work on particular issues. Also, a group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Children of Alcoholics could be helpful in terms of connecting to others and following.a 12 step program for recovery.
“I’m feeling more anxious and depression and tried therapy in the past, but it didn’t work.”
Maybe you didn’t have the right match with your therapist. You want to be with a therapist who is a good fit for you. When choosing a therapist, be sure that you’re comfortable with this person because you need to be able to open up to them for the process to be the most beneficial for you. Use your gut here rather than checkboxes or what their credentials are.
When I was younger, I had a therapist I was uncomfortable with and didn’t make a lot of progress with her. I switched to someone who really seemed to understand me and I was able to make a lot of changes in this more attuned, aligned relationship.
Also, ask your therapist about what their approach is – we are all trained differently and maybe their orientation or method of therapy wasn’t a match. Psychology Today is an excellent website to browse for therapists in your area. Most therapist start with a phone consultation where you can ask questions and gauge whether they would be a good match for you!
Good luck in finding your way to feel better!
